deep wounds, it's break my heart, alot of guys who had die alot all because of money
so I just sit and tell my story on alot of poems
and I got pain to express cause there's a lot In me
I remember having fake friends who tried to plot on me
I swear this life is so hard and they don't understand
it's hard than you think, try and be the bigger man
how many chances can you turn around and give a man?
I stayed clean hearted but nobody seems to give a damn
you all think my life is easy
I work around the clock everyday, I got a different plan
living in this oppression zone, my circle got smaller
because everyday you're with a different gang
I'm with the same guys and we're on the same crew
my old man always told me to focus on my vision and it's will surely come true
hater push me to the edge to see me breakdown
if I ever breakdown I'll show you what this pain do
I always cry about my struggle then my brothers have to tell me " you can't cry about your struggle bro- it's made you "
and the water in my eyes ain't the same
I don't really speak alot
I keep my emotions in
it's hard for me to open up, I feel I'm losing myself, I ain't me
I'm suffering and there's God, Dear God you can see what am going through
I know you are in control, Dear God how do I feel you
I always bang at the door, but you ain't opening
I just wanna know if you are there, teach me how to notice you
I used to reminisce on life, hoping it would slow down
I used to have a bunch of hatred for my enemies
I believe in karma, what comes around goes around
I remember being 15 when I was writing on my story goes down
well, I'm about to express myself
I got alot to talk about me and myself
have been down and there's a lot of things you can't see
I got thinking in my thoughts but I got depressed
I hustle everyday to put food on the table
fake friends cut them off
they ain't coming near me
they got the money, when I was screaming out for help, they act they couldn't hear me
if I didn't write my thoughts down, I'll go insane
I don't expect you to understand what I can't explain
Ella told me pain's beautiful emotion
I can say I do agree but nowadays I just don't feel the same
I'm crying tears at midnight and they don't see me
they ask me if I'm good, I say I'm good but most times I lie
if you say you love me, when you say it look me in the eyes
they only say it in disguise
that's why I don't trust these, guys
I don't trust them at all, if I was slipping they'd be watching me fall
when I was looking for opportunities, most of them were closing the door
I was banging on it, they ain't opening
let me break it down, I'm all down depressed, broken me I got to make it out
I don't wanna wait, I'm eager I should make it now
my whole life I've been stuck in these situations
but I'm waiting for the day when I'll make it and got to change this around
but I'm scared that if I make it out, they'll make it worse
I always protect my heart all the time
cause that's what they wanna hurt
have really had to get up in them trenches
I've had to go and mash alot of work
you can ask my brothers, they know everything about me
I don't ever stop, I'm working till you see me made it large
Amen!!!!
©bamidele
B