I find myself here yet again. This familiar stain of my being. Failure and inadequacy once again is all the I'm seeing. My breath has halted and become slow. And my emotions seem to strong to not let them show. And like every other time before i just want to let go. I hope and pray for something to take away all that i feel, that has proven to difficult for me and my soul to heal. And nothing feels real. Not anymore. I'm not good enough for you or for them, not for this world or for me, that's always been so clear to see. And I just want to finally be free. Free to be at my final my ending result. I know that everything that has ever happen was always my fault. That what I was told and that's what I wish I didnt believe. But I do. Cause it's undeniably true. Deep down inside of me I think I always knew. Knew that this would be my only escape. Its waiting for me to take that leap,
To take away every last hurt and painful emotion that I keep. It was never living when you live this deep. I will no longer weap, as I know you wont either. This life torched me oh so well. But I think I'm ready to move on to the next hell.
©justin_ur
J