Time and time again I find myself alone and in tears.
Judged and told that I wasnt good enough for years.
The way adults made me feel as a child was unreal.
Making me take it all in no matter how it changed me or made me feel.
They then expected me to respect and listen to what they said.
You have got to be kidding me like I must have misread.
You all were supposed to protect me and keep me away from harm.
You should have just went and bought me my own firearm.
The way words would cut through me like a fresh sharpened knife.
Making sure my thoughts and dreams wete not happy and full of life.
I would wish for another family or some place to go.
Where everyone was nice and loved me so.
Comforted me and made me feel whole again.
Telling me I can overcome anything and fully obtain.
Everything I'll need as an adult to survive and succeed
But instead you broke me down making sure I would never supersede.
Into a woman that had all the respect given.
Nothing she did was unforgiving.
A heart that would give until it had no more .
I wish this was me instead of a middle aged woman looking for the closest drugstore .
Depression meds plus mood stabilizers and anxiety pills.
Anything to numb out the reality thrills.
Only if you knew what I felt right now.
You would wonder why I dont fight some how.
I know I care none of the pain I feel.
It's something I have tried to conceal.
Respect was never a thing in my days.
Make sure you demand it no matter what always.
©cheyanne
C