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NOTHING SURPRISES ME ANYMORE

Nothing surprises me anymore…
I’ve seen loyalty turn into betrayal.
I’ve seen promises dissolve like mist at dawn.
I’ve watched people I once trusted walk away without a word,
And those I barely knew show me more kindness than blood ever did.
I’ve lost what meant the most to me—my father.
That alone changed everything.
It’s a wound time hasn’t healed, just covered in layers of strength.
But grief wasn’t the only teacher.
Life taught me how to stand alone in crowded rooms,
To smile while breaking inside,
To walk with people who would leave the moment things got real.
I’ve been disappointed, underestimated, used, and misunderstood.
I’ve felt the cold grip of loneliness,
The sting of being forgotten,
And the ache of trying to stay strong for everyone while falling apart in private.
So no, nothing surprises me anymore.
Not who leaves. Not who stays.
Not how quickly love can fade, or how deeply silence can speak.
This is the height of where the world has pushed me:
Into solitude that made me wise,
Into stillness that made me listen,
Into battles that taught me how to fight without making noise.
Now, I don’t chase, I don’t beg,
I don’t break when the unexpected hits.
Because I’ve learned—
The only thing I can truly hold onto is God,
And the version of me I refuse to let this world destroy.
©mercyada