everyday I feel like a mouse trapped in a maze with ups and downs more frequent than I'd like faster than the fastest roller coaster one minute I may be happy the next guilty there may be a smile on my face but sorry to inform you I feel nothing inside I get so dizzy with the ups and downs it sucks so bad especially knowing I will never be in the middle no matter how close I get it's so far away I'm not saying I have a horrible life all I am saying is you could physically cut me with a knife and it would not hurt because even when it's emotional it is also physical I know there's always somebody in a worse but then me all I'm saying is yes you may hate me for this but I cannot feel sorry I cannot feel bad because this disease and the medications I feel nothing inside and I wish I could but it helps me the most especially when my heart is misunderstood so if you cannot accept me for who I am I will not apologize if you cannot accept me for the good person I know I am FYI I don't give a shit because even on days when I feel I will honestly always be real so if you don't like me after what you have heard save your words in favor comments because they don't mean shit to me and will not change my mind or my attitude just always remember if you cannot tell the and decide to lie all the time I will tell you when you're fucking up every time it crosses my mind.
©johnny4lle
J