pain

I hate to ask but why?
All I ever did was cry
No words to back my tears
Only silence could hide my fears
All I felt was pain
I pressed the pillow to my face
All my sreams could not surface
My emotions where all fake,
All the joy I portrayed was hate
Cos all I ever felt was pain
But all I ask is why? Why did you pave and create my pain?
All I ever asked was what? What did you gain to see me break?
Why did you love to see me die inside with every single word?
Why? What? How?
How did you lead me to this state?
How did my suffering feed your hate?
How did you put me in this box that's filled with misery and pain?
You have always loved my pain
And now you hold the reins, even though I smile in fear
I know my master when it's near
Oh how I want to stop you! How I want to end you!
But every time I try to fight that ugly fear raises up it's head
Every time I try to speak I find myself being tongue tied
And everytime I try to stare you down all I see is me...
Oh yes it is me... It has always been me...
I am the master of my pain...
So how am I supposed to win?
Poem written by kanong
©kanong