No no no no no!
They are coming back again
No! They almost killed me last time.
I'm just a stupid kid.
I don't even have anywhere to hide.
No no no!
They can't be attacking me again.
Not the voices again.
How am I gonna survive this
I'm not panicking, I'm not, right?
Yea I'm totally fine nothing is happening to me.
I feel great, I'm fine, right?
Say it! Say you are fine!
Yea I'm okay, I'm okay.
I can still see them.
I can feel them surrounding me.
I can feel their painful words.
The exact words they used to hurt me.
The way they body shamed me like it was my choice to be skinny.
Ohh no, they called me whimpy, ugly.
It's not so funny but I'm going to laugh.
Wait this isn't making any sense, right?
Yes it's not because you don't know how I feel.
No, no, I didn't mean it that way.
I'm sorry for disturbing sir I'll smile a little.
Shhhhhh... Calm down and listen...
You hear me crying?
Yea that's me crying in silence, I know you didn't hear a thing
Ohh no! Now I'm freaking out
I'm freaking out... What's wrong.
You said I'm fine, you told me I'm fine.
Yea I know why you said it,
Because you said I'm fake in your brain.
I heard it, now I know.
I know my friends use me as a sticker,
You know, it fades day by day
Till it's no longer there.
And there they said 'darling you are fine'
I heard them saying that,
I heard them lying to me,
And all I can say is Ohh my oh my,
And question myself why,
Why you are reading this,
Why I wrote this,
I mean I should have been dead by now..
©eugenia
E