Over and over again
I play the play by play .
I try not to think about things so much.
It just has a way of creeping its way back to into my head.
I wish I didn't know this pain.
Is it all me that is to blame, for all the times there was a showdown and a fight .
For all the times I stayed up and cried inside,
While I was being talked about in a negative way.
Then to say nothing ever was said.
Just only intimate parts that are no longer sacred.
Maybe it is me,
Im just a thing
An odddsey of mental instabilities.
Crazy and wacked out.
Think I think this one week and then turn it all around to where I become the bad guy again.
Not just once but 4 times .
So everyday and everytime I try to move forward,
The tramatized me gets stuck in my head.
Repeating everything like a record that skips.
Recovery for this catastrophe depends only on me.
Slowly I net to let myself heal.
I just want to feel the way I did when we first met.
The innocence
The wonder
The falling into the moment.
For that was then and this is now.
I don't know how long this will take.
No apologies please.
Those mean nothing to me.
Don't speak anymore cause your word is not welcome anymore.
It doesn't matter what goes down from right here and right now, I am ready to skip out of town
©number14
C