I feel like a prisoner in a cell,
A ghost in an empty shell.
Time keeps moving, but I don’t —
I’m stuck in the same damn spot,
faking strength I don't own.
I use silence like a shield,
Throw up walls no need for steel.
I don't lash out, I don't break down —
I just disappear behind a smile
and hope no one sees me drown.
I'm in disguise by design.
I crafted every line.
Wove pain and pride and hollow laughs,
Stitched them tight —
so they never ask.
I walk through the world like a stranger in my own skin,
Trying to hold it together
for the ones who never see me cave within.
They see a father, a fighter, a man who shows up —
But they don’t see the fear
that they’ll realize I’m never enough.
I swallow doubt like pills at night,
Telling myself, “you’re alright.”
But I’m tired of being the strong one,
The quiet one,
The one who never gets it wrong.
Inside, I’m screaming in languages
I forgot how to speak.
And I wonder —
If I fell apart,
Would I even make a sound beneath the weak?
Some nights I stare at the ceiling
trying to find pieces of the man I used to be —
before the pressure,
before the masks,
before I lost track of me.
I'm the rock my sons lean on,
but even stone cracks when it’s cold too long.
And I love them more than life itself,
but sometimes I feel like a stranger
to the man behind the help.
The mirror shows a man I don’t quite know.
Eyes tired. Jaw tight.
Heart moving slow.
I wonder if there’s still something left underneath,
or if I buried it all
just to be who they need.
I want to feel without apology.
Break without shame.
Speak without translation.
Love without blame.
But I built this prison to survive,
Each brick laid down with fear and pride.
And now I’m trapped behind my own design —
Calling out
from the inside.
©manyfaces
M