Here I am yet again, controlled and silenced in my pain instead of listened too.
You say I'm drunk when I come to you with things I have become passionate about. I come to you breaking and needing to express these things that darken my thoughts and keep me from my happy bliss.
I break and come to you because they've bothered me for so long and I finally boil over from being ignored.. drunk..shh be quiet your just drunk you say to me..... how can you say these things when I had only two glasses of wine, while you've nearly consumed an entire twelve pack? Shhhh be quiet, I don't care how you feel, that's not what I see. Shhhh be quiet that doesn't matter to me! Stop talking to me that's a painful concept to hear with my tired unwanting ears. I'm too tired to help you ...you bother me your acting like a stupid little child, I'll teach you for speaking these things to me!
I fall away broken deep to my core crying out in desperation for you to just once listen to me about the things that hurt me with tears staining my face and my clothes.. I can't make them stop. How I wish that I could! Wanting you to follow me and finally listed and see the pain that you now cause.
But...you don't. Instead you pour out my bottle of wine and blame it on that vile disgusting drink for me having the nerve to finally speak. But not once do you care that I'm HURT.. Not once do you think perhaps you are the one that's overreacting!
Teammate.. no I can't be that. You won't let me..not in the hard things that matter..Shhh be quiet is all that you show me I need be. Quiet and submissive, yes that's what you want of me.
If quiet is what you MUST HAVE.. I hope that you're sure! Because there's only so many times that one can be suffocated by indifference, and ignored with uncaring ignorance. Before that silence you seem to long for so DEEPLY becomes....ALL THAT I AM.
©celanicam
C