I never thought I'd end up here; here alone left with nothing.
As a child, I had a cruel mother, who found amusement in mental torture.
I had so much to deal with to the point, after school I'd be dropped off school bus, to sit at the stop not wanting to go if you call home.
I never had a chance as a teen, as I was never given the emotional warmth I needed, I became naive and vulnerable. A target you may say.
I was bullied and abused and it never got easier, to never getting help with my children, being branded in a bad way.
This was also during loosing my father best man ever.
I grew up I felt, after finding out, my mother through the mental abuse gave me a broader line personality disorder, which became worse and worse.
This was because professionals got what they needed and left me with no support.
To have the worst thing happen to a female 4 times over period of 3 months.
Three year trial with one a hung jury, to then be slashes across the face by a lad, saying I deserved what I got with what happened to me, I tried to defend myself but come unstuck.
To just recent in last four year I was ran over by lad who passed not two week back from this scene.
To then discover over the last 8 years, with professionals letting me down with after care.
I have a broader line personality disorder, I suffer with anxiety, I suffer with panic attacks, I suffer with PTSD, I suffer with RTS, I have fibromyalgia with it brought on by trauma, I now suffer with a permanent scar across my face, I now suffer ligament damage in left knee with cartilage issues, I now suffer with a slip disk and permeant nerve damage that will get worse. I have others I can't even list.
I live with my two cats no family no friends I can't trust no one no more, what sorta life is that?!
I'm nearly 40 with nothing to show for, but scars damaged and being damage goods.
I think it's time to say goodbye now, don't be a drain on society set your self FREE.
good night godbless.
as god as my witness I'm coming home outta pain and to rest, be with the ones I've lost but I no love me, not like my emptiness world here.
Thanks for reading, now you take care.
©harleyrose
H