I didn't want to look down but i did.
I was so afraid what was around, so i hid.
I never felt so scared of my own shadows, the laughter is what i have rid.
Crazed in my own thoughts, i felt my heart race.
Holding out my arms for one last embrace.
I look into a mirror, the fear was in my face.
My pulse was racing, how do i stop these fears.
The voice within, suddenly appears.
I kept on running until i couldn't anymore.
These were the signs that i would not ignore.
I seen all these nightmares before.
Why am i going through this again.
Somehow, i thought it came to an end.
It did for quite awhile, perfection was not my style.
Nobody said this was gonna be easy, it's been happening since i was just a child.
They lock me up, to hear me cry.
Still today i wonder why.
From a child to an adult, for heavens sake it's not my fault.
This illness that i have, leaves me sick, vulnerable and feelings of pain.
Sometimes, i wonder if i am just insane.
Everyone would just be happier if i was locked away.
These feelings of guilt, are here to stay.
I am a reckless soul, i am not okay.
©terrylin53
T