For the longest time,
I found my refuge from your thoughts, your words, your memories in writing
I wrote whatever I felt, drenching my paper not only in ink but also tears
I would write to soothe my heart, making the paper my witness of an undying love
Tried to make sentences that would somehow make me breathe again,
For when I think about you too much, my heart aches, not from pain but from the sheer love that I have for you
But today is a day like no other, I have written words, and then erased them
I tried writing poetry but my heart couldn't comprehend my feelings, and thus I just kept looking at the plain sheet of paper,
White and without any mark,
As if mocking me for being so madly in love with you, that even my words have dried up
No words can hold me together for I am falling again,
I want you so bad that I am physically feeling your absence,
I would give anything in this world and beyond to have you in front of me,
Just to look at you, and maybe cry a little at the misery of my life ,
Where I can have you, but not forever
I just want to hold your hand this moment and somehow stop the time,
Live in this moment again and again, in a never ending loop.
I wish my words come back to me tonight, where else do I look for Refuge?
©tanyamir
T