I've been scared of writing again
Lying to my self that I'm fine
While in reality I'm not
My heart is filled with holes
Holes that are oozing blood
Oceans and oceans of gore
I'm in pieces
And here I thought I was at peace
I've been fighting the urge to write
To express my innermost feelings
For I'm scared
Scared of being so vulnerable
Scared of letting out my pain
My affliction has gotten the best of me
Leaving my wounds open and exsanguinate
My scars are fresh again
I'm falling back into the pit
A pit I struggled so much to come out of
I've been fighting the voices in my head
Silencing them but it seems not working
The skeletons in my closets won't stop banging the doors
And everything is just falling apart
I'm scared
Completely terrified for
I don't wanna start all over again
Healing is a process they say
Sometimes you just wanna quit
I guess I'm at that stage
It's hard pulling your self out of your own pain
Struggling not to relapse
Not to loose it all
Not to worsen especially when things were getting better
But again
Life is a series of pain.
©Shamarawrites
©mara_pain
©mara_pain
M