K

Rising Ice

The addict in me just sits in front of me
...
.Numb.
 ...
Glass of watered down whiskey 
Completely detached
..
Been there since I arrived 
Hours later 
The ice rises reminding me
As it melts
Time 
Disappears 
Hollowed by the thought
My drive is gone
My friend my enemy my only
..
..nothing..
..
The vibes the highs the grind
..
....Nil....
...
Absent
I feel like my soul has deserted the field
Disconnected and detached 
The sweat off the edges 
Pooling on the table 
Because nothing has moved 
Hours 
Spinning with delay 
.
Everything is on pause
Where did it go 
..
Where have I gone 
..
A void in me drained
.. Clarity ..
Floating just out of reach 
I can see everything so perfectly
..
Still and silent 
The bugs in my blood 
..
.. Lifeless ..
..
My dedication to the cause
Staring back at me 
...
Even the dead in me are gone
..
Without thought ... Without words
Tiny little vibrations crawl inside my mind
.
Asphyxiation tied in knots 
...
Tightened with passion
...
Aftershocks and aftermaths
Unplugged
...
I feel like everything Ive ever known
The foundation crumbling beneath me
as these bridges burn ...
...
I knew a long time ago
Id always refuse to learn
What I didnt know
Was waiting for me 
The entire time
 .  .
Knowing
I was sacrifice
.
I gave myself to hell 
Slowly poisoned by myself
Decades later 
...        .  ..      ....I feel nothing
I need only more  ....   ... ... .. 
..
Desire has become lust 
Thirst 
..
..Filth..
..
The addict in me a placebo
A Fabricated heart beat
That helps me feels alive 
..
The batteries must be running low
I sit in this bar for hours 
Watching ice melt 
.
Puzzled
Analyzing alone
..surrounded..
By the chaos 
I have always known
..
Even if I changed it all...
...The internal purpose...
Is sold and gone
.
©keysncagez