roy

It was the year 1982. I was living with my Mom and dad in El Monte CA and my name is Bruce .Y. My life has been far from ordinary, but right now im going to focus only on the things from when i was 4-5 and 6 years old. Since around the time i was 4 years old was the time i really started to retain information. Everything else before that is a blur accept for the time i was 3 years old i have a faint memory of being at some park where they had animals you could feed there like goats and sheep ! Also at that park i remember my dad pushing me on the swing set . It was one of the only days my dad seemed happy and he was not abusing me on that day... surprisingly. Enduring Cruelty and Abuse was the usual experience with my dad. The first incident of abuse with my dad was when my dad babysat me for the first time. I was in my room playing with my toy blocks and playing with my black cat named Lady. My dad abruptly swings open the door and asked me what i was doing . Next thing he hits me on the temple as hard as he could with his steal toe boot for no reason at all. I remember it hurt bad. I started crying so hard i could barely breath. And he hit me in the temple when i wasnt even looking. My dad would punch&slap me on a regular basis. But on a good day i would get to watch Martial Arts movies with my dad ! I watched all the Bruce Lee movies. Kung fu the legend continues. and multiple other Martial Arts movies. But i could not always watch them
in Peace. Because sometimes when i would be really into a movie or scene... my dad would Burn me on my legs. My neck, and My ears with his hot lighter. He would light his lighter and hold it on till the metal piece at the tip of the lighter was Burning Hot. Then touch me with it. He would laugh. Because he got a kick out of Torturing and Tormenting me. And on the really Sickening days he would take me into the restroom and force me to watch him in the mirror shoot drugs in his arm. when i would try and look away, he would grab the top of my head and forcefully turn my head back to facing him shoot his drugs. He would molest me and Force me to watch him masturbate ! i felt sickened for going through that ! I felt Ashamed ! and was confused by my dads Bizarre, Cruel, and not very normal behavior at all. To me in my small world at the time he was the Devil ! the ultimate terror ! and even though my dad was a sick fuck...he was a descent fighter ! he won most fights he got into. And he was in allot because he would start shit with people. He would walk up to his brother my uncle and say come on lets fight. He did that with other people to. But then there was my Cousin Anthony R.I.P. he. was a Fantastic artist as i am and he knew martial arts and he been to prison before but he was way Cooler then my dad and he didnt put up with my dads shit. My Cousin Anthony was one of the people my dad could not beat up. They were pretty close to even though. But then my Cousin Anthony went back to prison and then died from hep C wich i am a survivor of myself Thanks to Harvoni !!! back to my dad he used to beat up my uncle Koni till one day when my uncle came back from the military my dad though he could still pick on my uncle and my uncle told my dad to leave him alon and he would not. So my uncle Koni smacked him in the head with a heavy flash light and almost killed my dad but somebody stopped him. I also remember one night my Mom was up worried sick about my dad because she had been waiting for him to come home for a while plus it was getting really late and it was raining. So my dad comes Bursting in the front door with blood all over his shirt. He had a knife in his hand. I remember my Mom rushing to his aid like a True Concerned nurse and wife. My Mom checked my dads torso out to see if he was hurt. But my dad was just fine. It was not even his blood. But knowing how Crazy my dad was i had a feeling he might have stabbed and possibly killed someone. Because he had allot of blood on his shirt ! it looked like someone else's arteries had sprayed all over him. And to make things worse my adopted Aunt Gina was there asking my dad who he stabbed and did he murder someone. And she kept pushing the issue with my dad so my Mom asked my Aunt Gina to leave. So there would be no more drama. Because she knew how my dad would eventually react. Good thing he was High off of Meth or Heroin or both. My uncle Koni told me those were his 2 drugs of choice. And no im not Samoan its just my uncle Koni was stationed in Hawaii for 5 year's. And in Hawaii when your name is Toni they call you Koni. He liked his new name and kept it.
So to continue down this sick tunnel ! So you can grasp the Harsh reality i was living. My dad used to starve me. See my Mom was usually the only one working a stable job. She even went to nursing school to become the nurse she was. And so my Mom would get her hard earned well deserved paycheck and instead of letting my mom buy food for all of us as a family... my dad would steal my Moms whole paycheck and spend it on drugs. Sometimes i would not eat for up to 4 days at a time. One time i was so hungry and my dad made me stay in the room while he scarfed down a whole bowl of chicken drumsticks. I just watched by the doorway while he pigged out on all that chicken. I finally got bold enough to walk out and ask him for a piece. He slapped me in the face and said go back to my room. I was still hungry and heart broken i cried my heart out ! Another sick memory i had on a different day was when i was starving and it had been like 3 days since i ate. I asked my dad for something to eat. So he goes in the restroom and comes out with a paper plate with shit on it ! He said here is your food. It was at that time i knew thats exactly what i was to my dad...i was a piece of shit in his eyes ! My dad did not love me at all. And i learned to accept that. But if i had the ability to KILL him at that time...then i would have a thousand times over ! It was at the point where i felt that my dad had put me through so much abuse that there was no painfulness of the flesh. No exorcising of the Soul that my dad has not already put me through. But i was wrong ! I didnt know what Pain and Torment was untill he started hanging me in the closet. Handcuffed by my wrist. Till my wrist would bleed ! For 10 and 12 hours which was the duration of my Moms nursing shift. My dad would put my toy rocking horse under my feet. But i could barely reach it if i stretched my feet and toes out. Then i got a little relief if i stood on my very tip of my toes. But i could only do that for so long ! I was only 4 i did not even have the arm or wing strength to barely hold my self up ! So i practically just hung there till my wrist bled, and my arms were exhausted. First time he hung me in the closet he didnt put nothing under my feet at all. He just let me hang there for like 10 minutes ! It felt like my arms were literally gonna rip out of my sockets. So i started screaming in pain ! He finally came to the closet opened it. And he said what ? And i said my arms are gonna break ! Thats when he put the rocking horse under my feet. But before he closed me back in the closet... he threw a combination of hard punches all over my torso ! And i knew there was spirits at our apartment. Because i used to see them at night. When i first seen them i was laying in my bed one night. And i looked across my room and there was this gray smoke looking cloud moving across the room. I acted like i didnt see it. I put my head under my covers and i made a small peep hole. I was watching this smoke cloud hover around my room. And this smoky cloud turned into shadow's on my wall. They would put on a show for me. The shadow's would turn into different people, shapes, animals and objects. One time when i was hanging in the closet i heard the shadows. They were whispering in my ear. I couldnt tell what they were saying but i was scared. I kept my eyes closed that whole time is was in the closet. I could feel them flying around my body and one of the spirits caressed my hair. There was nothing i could do but hang there in this living hell ! With spirits in the closet not knowing what their intention was. Like i said i could not make out what they were saying but they sounded like they were up to no good. Because they were poking me in my torso while i was hanging there in the pitch black dark. They were laughing and whispering in a demonic way. Well things started to get even weirder when i had my first one and only Astro projection ! And i say one because i Fought my way out of astro projecting all the other times. And its a little hard to do. But once you get the hang of it...gets a little easier. But always an unpleasant experience for me. Because when you Astro project you feel like your dying ! Your spirit is leaving your body. This is how it began one night when i was laying in bed i fell into sleep Paralysis. Its like i was asleep but in a trance. It was like i had no control over my body. I could not move one single muscle. Then i seen this bright blurry light in front of me. It was a portal of some kind. Next thing i know im passing through it ! I had a rush of butterflies to my stomach and it felt like my heart was gonna stop or something ! It was the feeling of my Soul leaving my body ! It was a disconnected feeling. So after i came through because i had no idea what was happening or how to stop it. My spirit just up and went through And left my body laying in the bed. Im now in a dark room iv never seen. It was a dark dungeon looking room. I seen a couple of doors and what looked like a couple of glass potion bottle's. I looked back towards the direction of this portal i just came through and there i was my body laying there Floating. Like i was still in bed but my bed was not there anymore. It was invisible. All i could see is my body floating in suspension. And there was this blue electricity surrounding my body. It looked like i was about 3 feet away from my self. So i turned back to investigating the room. There were these 3 figures in cloaks. They appeared out of no where. And they had no faces. It was pitch black where their faces should have been.Then one of them snatched me up by my arm real fast and aggressively to bring me back to my body. And next thing you know i went back through. And it felt as if i brought something back with me. Every night for about a week i felt hands on me restraining me at night. And the hands restraining me continued later on down in my life.They would hold me down. There were about 6 hands on me. So i figured it was 3. Then i remember the 3 figures from when i had the astro projection. I dont know if it was them but these hand's would hold me down and tickle me none stop. To the point it became so uncomfortable that i would struggle and fight them off me.These Entities what ever they were they enjoyed messing with me. I got so uncomfortable feeling about it. I told my mom what had been happening and she said it was my wild imagination. But i told her no Mom it's really happening. But i could not convince her. I was on my own like i was from day one. So as you can see dysfunctional family life and weird ghostly shit was my early on training.Then came my second experience with loss of life. My first was when my all white cat named snow ball got sick and died at the foot of my bed. But then one day my Mom borrowed some money till she got her next check so we could eat. So she took me with her to go grocery shopping and my dad stayed home with my little brother. Me n Mom went out for a while and i told my Mom what dad was doing to me. How he was treating me while she was at work. So we came back home from grocery shopping. My dad was waiting outside in the front of our place as my Mom drove up. He spoke to my Mom for some reason in private on the side where i could not hear. All of a sudden my Mom wanted me to go straight to my room and when i walked by the living area i seen blood&guts all over the wall n couch. Before my Mom came into my room and told me dad accidently shot my black Cat named Lady with his shotgun...i already knew that is Not what happened ! I felt it in the pit of my stomach. So im sad and crying because i lost my only Friend. And here is the Real Fucked part about this situation ! My little brothers finger that the cat supposedly bit was not bit at all. My little brothers finger was Purple. Like somebody Smashed it. His finger nail was about to fall off and my Mom noticed it. There was No way the cat did that to my brothers finger. Lady was a Gentle cat. See one time me my Mom and my dad noticed that Lady would lick baby food and what ever else off my little brothers fingers. So my dad used that situation to blame my cat for hurting my little brothers finger. He lied and said Lady was bitting his finger. He said he was trying to protect my little brother. So he could justify blowing my cat away and get away with abusing my little brother. Because i knew how crazy and sick my dad was he got a thrill out of abusing and causing pain to younger people and animals. If he got to Kill the animal in the process then that was a bonus for him. So i clearly knew what really happened. Plus i remember the time i was in the garage with my dad at the house of one of our relatives from his side of the family. My dad was using some tools to work on his car. He called me over to him. He took my hand and he pinched the tip of my fingers Real hard with some plyers. He held the pinch till i started crying and he did it more then once. Also one time we were leaving in his car to go some where. I do not remember where. But when i was getting in the car my hand was accidentally in the between the door where the hinges are. Because i was trying to crawl into the car. I was still really short at that time. My dad slams the car door shut. Knowing that my hand was where the door would slam on it.Thank god it did not get my whole hand just 3 of my fingers. So i till this very day i am convinced about the Obviousness of him smashing my brothers finger and then Murdering my cat. And not only was my Mom and Aunt suspicious about what really happened... so was my Uncle Steve. And i had never seen my Uncle Steve that Angry. He was threatening to call the cops. And have my dad put in jail if he found out what my dad really did. Then my Uncle Steve said he will Fight my dad and Kick his ass for hurting my brother. My Mom said Steve calm down there is no way you could take on Louie wich was my dads name. My Mom told my Uncle that my dad would kill him ! And my Uncle Steve was also in the military but he still could not stop my dad and he knew that ! So my uncle calmed down but was still very upset ! Well somehow my dad weaseled his way out this one. Nobody did anything the truth was people were scared of my dad so nobody did anything. So things mellowed down for about a week. It must have been because my dad knew he was being watched ! then one morning i wake up bright an early to the sound of my Mom and dad fighting. They were yelling and smashing&Breaking things. I heard glass shatter so i walked around the house and it was empty. But then i heard my Mom and dad yelling again. They had brought the fight outside in the front. So i walk out to where my Mom and dad are yelling. And when i walked up my Mom was like omg Bruce the bottom of your feet are all cut up from glass ! My Mom carried me to the car. Then drove me to the hospital where they removed shards of glass out the bottom my feet and gave me lots of stitches ! Now its almost the End of my dads Nightmare there was a more Terrifying one not to far away from my future. So on the final night ill ever see my dad again. My Mom and dad got into a really bad fight . Because my Mom confronted him about abusing me. He was drinking really Heavy like most of the time and he denied it. Went into a rage and slapped my Mom and my Mom slapped him back. I was worried for my Mom that my dad was gonna hurt or kill her. I heard them fight before and many nights i stayed up in bed listening to them scream hit and yell at each other. But this was the Biggest fight i ever heard them get into. My dad was always in the wrong. Plus he was evil but not as evil and Scary as roy ! But we will get to roy in a minute. Because he is the star of this story ! So my dad snapped went into a rage and pushed my Mom againts the wall so hard she hurt her back. And he picked her up. Body slammed her. Then he gave her 2 black eyes. So way later on like 2 or 3 in the morning. My worthless dad finally passed out from his drunken stupidity. I had finally passed out Exhausted from listening to them fight all night. Then i woke up from the sound of sirens from the police. My Mother told me what happened when i was asleep. She told me that she almost Murdered my dad that night and that was the closest she ever came to killing someone ! she told me that after he fell asleep she grabbed his Shotgun and she knew it was loaded. She put the head of the barrel right againt's his temple as he was laying there passed out. She was crying, shaking she had so much hurt anger and emotion running through her ! She was one second away from pulling the trigger. But she said it was like the voice of God intervened and told her dont do it ! I dont know if it was God or her own conscious. I dont doubt God though but she listened. She knew she had to be there for me and my little brother instead of spending possibly life in prison. So she called the cop's on him instead while he lay there clueless that he almost got his skull and brain's Blown all over the place. The cops show up hand cuffed him real quick and literally dragged him away and as he was being drug away by the cops he said he was gonna Kill us as soon as he got out. So the cops recommend to my Mom that we leave and find another place to live. Because they told her he will be out soon. Because they could only hold him for the weekend. Reason being is back in the 80's domestic violence laws were not that strict or harsh. So people in those times would only stay a weekend in Jail for Beating up their Wife and Abusing their kids. So me and my Mom quickly packed up our stuff. We left to stay at a battered Women&Children's shelter for a couple of week's and that did not last long. Because after me being there for 2 weeks and me going around grabbing women by the private area. Grabbing glasse's off of people's faces. Crushing them with my hands and then stomping with my feet. For some reason i saw people with glasse's as a target. I would see someone with glasse's Target in on them and Grab n Smash. I even did it to some kid my age who had a temper like me and me n him got into a nice little wrestling match. It was pretty even. What i realized later on in life is that i was acting out because i was Angry inside from being abused. I wanted to Hurt people Especially i wished i was big n Strong enough at that time to Kill my dad after i Beat his ass to near Death let him live another 4 hours after the Pain has kicked in from his near Death beating that would consist of Beating every inch and part of his body. Then i would finnish the job by stabbing an orange hot metal spike through each testicle. Then slowly poke 2 more orange glowing hot spike's...one slowly through his eyeball all the way to the back of his skull and one straight slowly through his heart at the same time ! That is after i would have Slowly pulled all of his finger&toe nail's off and Skinned him alive ! Now back to the shelter. So all the other families got together had a big talk and decided it would be best if me and my Mom leave the shelter. Because they could not provide the help i needed. Or have the training to deal with a 4 year old child who has been Very Severely Abused. My Mom had no idea where we were gonna go so my Mom out of Desperation took me