Living my life is like running from myself, always trying to be one step ahead of what I used to be, sorting out rights and wrongs, what I want to be now, and what I want to be the old me. Constantly weighing pro's and cons to determine if my next move will mirror from my past and if so how much longer will it's repeating last. Through in and throughout everything is a battle to surpass the marks of my yesterday, and I must run from myself to make sure the bad parts of me stay away. Cause they seem to follow the closest. Lurking around every turn and turn of events, it creates an anxiety that's overwhelmingly intense. To live my life is to escape that in which is old, or the next chapter can never be told. For the previous one would just repeat, replying the story of my old defeat. As I run from myself who I am moves forward too, and gives me the chance to be something new. It's set for failure how easy it is to lose it all, it's like life was designed in mind on inevitable falls. Because I seem to fall far more then I can run, and I'm getting to that point where I just want to be done. Life should be walking towards something and never running from. It should be full of feelings and yet here I am numb. Running from everything that I'm trying not to be, just makes life empty and unhappy....
©justin_ur
J