One day while walking by the grocery store
I stopped at the Delicatessen asking him if he had any more
He looked at me and said you want four
Damn man I did not say four I said I wanted more
The clerk looked at me then said more of what man
Do you want American Swiss Cheddar Provolone Asiago Jack Monterey Muenster Colby what do you want me to slice and scan
I yelled back at him Gouda boy I don’t eat but the best kind
Ahhh the clerk said I have a new one but I got to go find
He came back with the prettiest virgin mound
I just wanted to reach out and touch it pound-for-pound
I fell in love with it at first sight it was so round
He was about to slice it and I screamed stop
I startled him and he almost dropped my Gouda on the flop
If you would hurt my baby I would have called a cop
You can't slice that I'll take the whole thing plus the collar
Clerk look at me like I was crazy that be almost 300 dollars
You want MasterCard Visa discover or cash
Clerk then then smiled yes sir would you like a bow and a sash
For your new young lady Miss Gouda I’m sure she would like
That that would be fine thank you your name is Mike
I took my baby home and I cleaned her up and let her dry by air
Baby you look fine but you put on some weight somewhere
My darling Gouda you're the finest in this land
I’m proud of you call me your man
I I didn't go out very much the next few weeks
I stayed home the spend time with Miss gouda who seemed very weak
she didn't talk much but she smelled so divine and she looked so heavenly
She never talked back to me she always listens and she is so friendly
I got a nice stroller and I take her for nice Moonlight strolls
But these walks were taking their tolls
When walking along the beach just me and miss gouda alone
When she started to get green I called Mike on the phone
Why is she green MikeI took good care of her Mike looked at me as If I was stoned
Sir it's just a piece of cheese man
You got to keep it cool and don't keep it next to the frying pan
But this hunk of cheese is gone plus it really stinks
I kind of lost it I started crying my Gouda I called Mike a fink
I started tearing up his store because my gouda was no more
He called the cops and I got arrested but I didn't care why
Miss Gouda why oh did you have to die
They locked me up in a funny farm
Where I could do no harm
Oh I miss my baby but they said I was cured
They let me go in about a year my time was blurred
Then several years had gone by
I was in a grocery store and my heart stopped thought I was going to die
There behind the counter was a large baby cheddar oh boy I said no way
Not again I ran and ran and I moved away
And I never again saw a piece of cheese
Say cheese mile
©poemmaker
P