As I here sitting with my thought. Thinking about my life. How far I came from where I was at. Sometimes I don't have any words. Because I don't have feelings behind the words. I have been trying to find myself with words and emotions. Sometimes my mind goes blank. I close my eyes to see if there is anything there. But I don't have a clue. Sometimes I don't have the answer to what I am looking for. I always second-guess everything in my life. Wonder if I can trust myself. Because I let myself down before. The choice I made wasn't right. So now I doubt myself. It makes me feel uncertain about my life. I know have to put myself first. Life is simple. But my choices are not. I am between two worlds. Choose one or over it hard. I don't want to choose the wrong path. But there is one I am the second guess. If I choose it. I don't know how far I can go with it. This time I have to choose for myself. That I make the right choice for me. But how can I trust myself to make the right choice? I will just second-guess myself. Know what I know about myself. There is no way to know what is right. I just have to trust myself that I make the right direction. But I don't feel it. That means it is not right. I have to feel it from within. Just like the words I write. I am just a writer trying to find her place in life. But where do I start? From begin of my heart. That feeling comes with in. So the question I ask myself is how far I have to take before I am for show. I know I am making the right decision about my life. I sat down with my thought. Hope I got the answer I looked for. Because I will be second-guessing everything. Hope I made the right decision for me. That I won't regard my choice. For me putting myself first. So I won't have to second-guess myself anymore. Because I learn to trust myself again. No more second-guessing myself.
©cateye1971
C