I stand behind a wall as the water Cascades down and he stands in front of the curtain calling out behold the beauty yet he does not see the figure infront of him I look down and everything I see is not what he "beholds"
it is different
it is strange
I do not expect the expectations he wishes of me but I wish that I could indifference is something that I wish for but cannot behold because I'm not that
I am in a casket in my mind where my soul examines my body and says this does not match up
I meant to be skinny
I am meant to be everything everyone has ever wanted and yet I have nothing but what you are "beholding" through the curtain
don't behold me but look with weary eyes because there is more to me than you could know and until you can look inside of me you cannot tell me what I look like on the outside because until you know who I am
I am irrelevant to you
P.s. Can you hear my silent cries as to why I am not good enough?
©katherine
K