Sleepless.

I haven't been able to sleep these past few weeks. I have struggled to keep my head straight, it's been a tough few weeks.
I'm jobless, waiting day in day out for the phone to ring, I'm stressed that the girl of dreams will enter my life with her son and I won't be able to support them.
I lay awake, relaxing deep with my brains realm thinking of things I normally would do subconsciously. I ponder why I can't sleep. I wonder why I am so restless.
I lay awake, lonely... with no one at the side of my person, no one to hold. no one to look at and think how am I so lucky. Maybe it's the fear, of never being worthy. Maybe I'm not. Maybe it's in my head.
I ask myself these questions all the time, I just don't know it. Until the night draws in and all I know aren't there to break dawn with me...
When my one true love isn't with me, I am lost in my own trapped endeavours. I'm sleepless, I'm going mad.
©danmcb