I woke up and it was on ....,
I felt like i had been sleeping for three days,
I woke up in a puddle of my own sweat,
I checked around the room,
Light penetrated through the thin spaces,
:"Must have been a dream,"..I muttered to myself..
My body was weak,.
I felt thin,
The floor felt cold,
I felt my heart pumbs,.puum! Puum!
I was worn out,
The feeling: unworthy to live..
My eyes forced themselves to see,
My brained strained to think,
I remembered the yesternight's events,
I saw a book on the far end of the floor,
I had written something on It,before i fell asleep..
"It was a suicide Note,"
Before the nightfall,
I hated the fact that i only wished for Death,
I hated feeling suicidal,
I hated the feelings of life moving on without me,
I was bleeding, but there was no blood,
I was broken, but still felt alive..
I felt a looser, yet i was a winner..
Before i could swallow a handful of pills,
I heard voice stopping me,
I heard someone telling me,
How miserable and unforgiving the other world was,
The voice asked me to be strong...
"Those who die of suicide ,do not make it to heaven" the voice inisistead..
This now sounded a sense to me,..it was so lound and clear...
Then i realized how far i had drifted from God,
That i had taken the bible as a novel,
Jus because things failed to work the way i wanted,
I blamed Him for no good Reason,
I forgot about his wonderful plans,
Plans to prosper and not to harm me,
Plans for a good future and hope like.
©tincl
T