I scratched beneath the surface,
and now the scars are real
I was so numb inflicting pain was all that I could feel..
I stared into my mirror, saw nothing but distress, I treated her like she was just a broken fucking mess..
I pushed her more and more until she had no strength to stand,
I am the reason she was squeezing razors in her hand.
.
I never helped her up I never offered her a chance..i never took a second look, i swear no peep no glance.
but one day I felt something.
not happy, not angry not sad.
but for that day. for once I wasn't constantly just mad.
I looked at her reflection
I saw..and now I see
I realised I couldn't win when the enemy was me.
so I started building bridges
together, piece by piece
I helped her pick herself back up
and she helped me find me.
I learned to like myself,
the mirror image of my behaviour
I saw myself for who I was not all my flaws and failures.
and at the end of all the tears
and all the cuts and bruises
I realised the person who I am
its me who chooses.
so now we walk together
the dark side and the light
and if we start to fall apart we stand tall and we fight
cos when the world is scary and your in your darkest places
remember there is more too you than tear stains on your faces.
©katiecoady
K