Staged

I feel so tired but I can't sleep.
Don't know why good days wakes early to fly out
Alone with tears I attend my regular days,
Wishing if I could die sooner.
"She look strong;very brave",they'd say.
But who knows how strengthless I'm in reality.
For the fear of loosing;my fingers daily crossed.
Wishing if only I could die sooner.
I everyday,bit by bit,turns toward selfishness.
God only knows how poor I am;begging,"please..."
I try to forget the pain of loosing them ahead,
It keeps me wishing if only I could die sonner.
"I let my heart flow over those pages",
But I wasn't really true with it !
Who knows just how much I block and filter words.
This pain is real.I'm dead,rotten from the inside.
Keeps me wishing if only I could die sooner.
I feel so tired but I can't sleep.
Don't know why good days wakes early to fly out,
Even if they didn't know or couldn't see it,
This smile,is just a dream I wish I had it for real.
©enung.