Start and Start
Talk to myself all the time.
Words come in and out of my mind
Constantly going to battle with myself.
Never winning.
Always in a deadlock.
I start to pace,
Tell myself this is not a race.
Been hanging on since dawn.
Yawning, eyes grow weary.
Everything looks dreary.
Excuse me, I'm emotionally drained.
Walking these last 40 days in the rain.
Going through the pain.
Patience seems like it's a form of suffering.
It's stiffiling.
I want ice cream.
Daydream.
Do I?
Don't I?
Relying on only me.
Pull myself together, still in disbelief.
Seeking some calm and peace.
I have to leave.
I come back.
Drive in and drive out the toxic madness that stings.
Like a bee, see myself back in place.
In my safe space.
My house.
Reroute this scene.
Start from the beginning.
C