Start fresh in the new years. But my mind still thinks we are in the past. Trying to tell her we are starting fresh. I want to feel the fresh air. I can close my eye and don't be afraid what will I see if u open it. Always trying to act like nothing wrong. But inside I screamed. Too many negative thoughts coming my way. The weather is cloudy. Then a big cloud comes over my head. So my happiness can go away. I want to feel the sun hit my face. Now to be afraid that something or someone takes my happiness away. My joy comes and goes. Because my mind plays treats on me. It remains me of the past. I don't know how to feel sometimes. I don't want to second guess myself. I want to be honest with myself. Nighttime is when I close my eye and enjoy the quiet in the air. That is when I put my words into action. When I love to write. That is when my mind and feeling come again. My piece of mind. Trying to step in a new year's. With open minds. Start fresh within me. Separate negative and positive. Maybe it will be a positive year. I know I will have a rocky road. Have to push my way drove a hard time. I have to keep thinking positively. One step at a time. I am a savor. Not a victim. I don't want to be afraid to be me. I have dreams and goals. But I am more what people see. I am who I was to be. You have not met her. She is the little girl inside of me. Who wasn't afraid to use her words and voice. Who love to pick up a pen and write. Now it is hard to put words into action. Trying to keep my motion in action is hard. My mind is everywhere. It is hard to think for me. When I have someone who was my voice. I tell trying to find my voice. Maybe I was just foolish myself. I don't have what it takes. All this year I thought my words come to action. So this year I start fresh. To express me with words. Time to be that little girl who has dreams and goals. Not to fall on the top of the mountain. I won't be afraid to be me. To be that person I was meant to be.
©cateye1971
C