Consider this...
a mantra..
a wish...
a life without pain.....
a belief in real love....( bullshit)
a day without hate...
a day without self pitty, loneliness coupled crippling with disgrace
Insane?....
(fuck PTSD)
a sinner without judification
a judge without justification
the sentence only brief...
the witness praised wholeheartedly by yourself..
for being weak?
murder in the first degree....
close your eyes.. right now... and
think of everything...
yes ...
and...
Everyone who has pushed you past your limits pissed you off....
or broken your heart....
Wrongly accused ..you are broken...
there is no love...
no trust...
and you're mentally torn apart...
A cage wrotten with rust...
your mind is in a frenzy...
spinning, burning, acheing..and fearing God's trust
I can see it clearly......as ....I live this shit every day, it's a must....
I dwell here in darkness angry... alone.....
feeling like prey with no place to call home...
I'm locked into believing I caused this all from birth...
I find myself screaming inside...
I'm broken outside and loosing self worth.
yet quiet comes ...
to me atlast..
no one screams...
silence abounds...
no heart break heard....no love...
no pain...
no self pitty..
no hate..
no silent disgrace..
a life that is
lost, broken and in remediation...
this is my murder..
my death ..
I am the judge and I am the regret
this life I live there's nothing left
I will stay here begrudgingly
still and aware...
waiting patiently for myself to care...
©crash33
F