Hell I still live in
Dreams just ripped from me
True happiness, now completely gone
I go through the motions of every day life
I go through the emotions too, thinking about what was taken from me
It causes me not to be able to breathe
I watch a grown man suffer, I watch a grown man fight
He's fighting to hold back a flood of tears
I understand how he feels and he understands my pain
A new beginning has come and gone
Growing and changing so fast
So much in so little time
It can never be the same again
The hurt pushes upward no matter how hard I push it back
Disappointment all around
Those who were always suppose to be turned their backs
The pain is now so great it's become physical
I push it out of my mind
doesn't help
Hell keeps calling and I'm told I'm not deserving
BULLSHIT, I scream
But only the man who gave me my dream wants to help, but how can he when all I see is his pain, the same pain starring back at me
Still love you, said nothing could ever make that change
I am deserving and I pray every day that even though I helped you put me here you will never know the price I pay
My back never turned, even to those who so deserve
I'll show you Grace, for it's your lesson to learn
Will this save me? Save me from my own personal Hell?
No, I'm afraid not, for I am held there to tightly by those who are so self righteous
I still pray they will never know the pain of living in Hell like me!
E