To this day I can not understand.
How my life went from something amazing to a dead end.
You wont understand, I already know.
You look at me and see something that's worthless and letting go.
That's alright, I mean that's ok.
Here I come pulling myself back up today.
Always when I'm so close to the edge.
I find myself back in control building a wedge.
Between the ones who care not for me.
For all the ones that said they would never hurt me, but they did ya see...
Then my heart built itself back protected with the anger inside.
The nice me walked out when my father and brother died.
Pain and suffering has tortured my home.
Give me the Gives No Fuc$s syndrome
People continue to play there rolls.
Talking about all there wishes and goals.
How there gonna change there story.
I'll be standing here waiting for their day of glory.
You know as well as me
that some will be all that they can be
Others well see there eualagiy in the obituaries.
Visiting them bringing flowers and gifts to the cemeteries.
The rest will defend for themselves the only way they know how.
But see that's not my story to tell.
Mine starts with explaining how I want out of this hell
I just need someone, just one person to be here to help me analyze
My whole life that's full of lies and you expect me to empathize
Some say " find jesus and repent for the sins you have made".
But here I am the outkast renegade
But that's alright, I mean that's ok.
I will continue to try and display.
Whatever comes out and in whatever way.
Cause today I'm done caring about what you all feel or say.
When my heart catches up to that.
I'll set up a viewing so we can all learn how not to be a doormat.
I'm to emotional to focus right now.
Guess I'll just keep wishing I didn't live in this hell.
©cheyanne
C