Strange like me.
When you're strange like me
Change is scary.
The thought of breaking routine is terrifying.
Every memory is foggy.
You're entire past will be a question.
When you're strange like me
You'll stay awake every night mourning the death of your own childhood.
Remembering the good times will mean forgetting the bad,
because that will be the only time that you're happy...
When you cant remember anything.
When you're strange like me
Every obstacle will be a mountain and every failure a chasm.
You'll live in fear of the unknown and will be chased down by an undying darkness.
You'll close one door to find the others nailed shut.
And there will be bars on every window.
When you're strange like me
You'll hear voices in that darkness,
but you'll be so damn lonely that you will turn to them for company.
You'll work your fingers to the bone and never get on top.
You'll work 14 hour days because you'll know there is no one at home missing you.
When you're strange like me
Every friendship is temporary and every romance a dying flame.
You'll hang onto ever word and insult thrown at you,
Especially the ones spit out of the mouth of your absent mother.
When you're strange like me
You will always have a smile on your cheeks,
if only to keep the demons from spreading.
You will feel anxious in the silence but paralyzed in conversation.
You will forget what you're saying while you're saying it
Because you will get a flashback of a cold basement. A single light. And a man.
And you will try to brush if off but they are looking at you funny and you have vibrations in your spine.
When you're strange like me
The empty abyss will be your stage.
And in a room full of family and friends you will only see their absence.
You will put on your finest show and then will spend the rest of your life perfecting the encore.
But you can't handle the fame...
When you're strange like me
Every 'maybe' will be a 'no'
Every 'possibly' will be a 'no'
Every 'yes' will be a 'no'
You will believe that this life isn't real.
How can this string of misfortune be real?
When you're strange like me
You wont believe in love or know what it feels like to have a happy home.
Because you haven't really had either.
You will breathe in hatred and exhale regret.
You wont trust anyone, not fully.
And you will get comfortable with the idea of dying alone.
When you're strange like me
Your closet will overflow with skeletons from your past.
The monster under your bed will sing you lullabies.
The phantom in your mirror will be your most cherished enemy,
and the claws at your window will beckon you to just... run...
When you're strange like me
You will start each day at an impossible save point
with no chance of progression.
Your own mind wont know if you're sane or psychotic.
And in time those around you will question the same.
When you're strange like me
You will hurt yourself more than any other could.
You will be your worst enemy and your only friend.
You will hold onto every tragic memory and forget the ones that made you laugh.
You will wake up screaming or shaking or crying..
every.. single.. night. .
When you're strange like me
You wont dream about possibilities,
But rather of dreams lost.
Opportunities wasted.
People who left...
You wont be able to function sober anymore.
And you will turn to anything to numb the pain.
But nothing is strong enough and
you have a job to do
and bills to pay...
.. so you will barely function.
When you're strange like me
Everything will be your fault
and you will apologize for everything- even that which is beyond you
and you will mean every word.
Because you have always been a fuck up and how could this possibly be any different.
You will hold a stranger's life above your own because you will be so fully convinced that you are worthless.
When you're strange like me
You will drown in your own thoughts and conversations.
You will thrash for silence but every empty note is full of their screams.
And you will try to scream back but your screams are whispers and their laughter is the rolling thunder.
But you cant hide from the storm...
they have never left you.
They are a part of your soul.
They are who you are..
When you're strange like me
You will pray to gods that you don't believe in
Just in hopes that someone will listen.
You will look forward to the day that you are revealed the truth about religion...
When you're strange like me...
You question everything
You question everyone
You question yourself...
And I hope you never become strange like me.
H