I'm sick of people acting like what I've been through isnt a big deal
In those moments I sat down and refused to feel
A child that never felt like she had a mother
To this day I am traumatized by a wicked sister and her side kick brother
An abusive ex and new parent, I finally worked up the courage to leave
Mom's best support was she had room for my daughter but not for me
Ages 12-17 I had suicidal attempts but never enough to harm myself more than a little bit
mom's best advice was "get over it."
The women I was supposed to look up to
Left me homeless for years
And to make themselves look good they pretended to care infront of their peers
Bullied in school and I came home to the biggest bullies of them all
They made me feel like I was so small
Do you ever feel like the world is crumbling at your feet?
But in that moment life was far too powerful to beat?
And every breath you took another part of the floor was chipped away
Your heart feeling so heavy it could have been made out of clay?
Until finally you were hanging onto a pebble built to hold down an airplane
Trying to find the strength you didn't believe you could gain?
Mean while I was mid flight on my way down but still managed to crawl out of the hole they tried to bury me in
And in that moment I realized I could finally win
I was strong enough to do that so don't you dare underestimate me
Don't invite me inside with that fake smile
Pretend everything's okay like it's going to last for a while
It never does...
I've gone through hell and back, revisited the ones put there by mistake by people like you
I used them as my inspiration to fight back and taught myself that it's not because of you but because of me as a person I grew
I grabbed a sword and a shield and fought back
I've climbed over these mountains with gratitude and have earned the right to say that
I am stronger than yesterday's battle so what else you got?!
there's times I'm too humble to say that I am strong and believe me there's times I have cursed at the heavens.
but I've made it through much worse than all the memories, you must have forgot
I have been at deaths door, knocked on it, sat down, and had a cigarette
all the things my mother and sister put me through is something I cannot forget
so I sit back with this heart made of clay
it's coated in gold with the words carved upon it
"I'm stronger than yesterday"♥︎
©sincerely
S