Have you ever had thought of committing suicide when the one that you want to talk to is the one that make you feel like you just want disappear or go to sleep and never wake up ever again.
You have got the thought of over dosing or hang yourself but you against it because you know you have your kids that love and care about you.
You fight on a day to day basis with your anxiety because stuff that going on are you and plus you have PTSD which make things worse and nobody understands why you act a sorting when something reminds you of something.
You get confused with the person and think they may have a mental illness also because they seem like they never did anything to hurt your feelings and asking questions.
Its hurts but you don't tell them you keep it to yourself and don't tell them nothing because you feel like they will deny it so you just pray to God to get the thoughts of suicidal out your plus pray for that person so they can see what they doing wrong.
Sometime you feel like they will never see the wrong things they are doing but only your wrong deeds they say but you correct them but they still tell you that you still are and you not and you going back to the suicidal thought.
It makes you even more of not want to be in this world and not want be around people because how cruel they can get at time you having hard time trust anyone because how that person just continually hurting you so you just stay yourself must of the time.
Unless someone come and approach to you in public and you not being rube have conversation with but scared to be friends with them until you get to know them more.
God always been by your side and never left you or put you down to make feel some because his son Jesus had died for us so we can get back to him if we believe in Jesus is our Lord and Savior.
So now by you got close to God you don't have much suicidal thoughts anymore you still have them but not as bad when you first having them because you pray to our father to help you get out of and you also get extra help by going to the mental health to get treated for your pro with your anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
©maepoet
M