I haven't felt anything real since 2017. Built my life up with memories triggered by touch and fragrances, Music playlists, but the seasons make me the most nostalgic. I tried my hardest to forget, but I can't. At least with the numbness you don't have to feel it, but I'm sort of taken back by your cruel fact that you don't love me the same and I have to be okay with that. I'm losing it. I have this urge to wanna love and be loved, I want it. Let my emotions take control, let myself be vulnerable. I'm well enough together now that I can survive when you let me down or break me. I'm tired of being alone, that preference has gotten old. This heart has gotten cold. I'm just so tired of being alone. I want to fall in love again. I want to be able to call you a friend.
I haven't felt anything real since the last time you told me how you felt. I miss those days when we would be honest and try to relate. We don't talk like we used to.
©lilac
L