Sometimes I wish I can see a sunset. So I can get my thought together. Because I need to recharge my thought. Being judged by people. It drains my soul. It takes all my positive thought and pushes them to its side. Make me doubt myself. It's like they don't want to accept me. So I see in quiet with my thought. Thinking if I going on the right path. Because they don't see what I see. They blind me by who they wanted me to be. So it makes me want to run. Because I can't be who I am because you don't accept it. You don't see me. Look what I am becoming. I blossom like a flower. But there is too much seaweed around me. Every time you doubt me. I will hide myself again. You won't see any smile for me. I will hide myself. But only things you want me to be. I am not that person anymore. She is looking for herself. The only thing I know is when I am in my zone. I feel so free. The same feeling when I write. But I hide that side of me. Because that one side of me. That I can say I feel free. I feel like myself. I feel powerful. Like strong women. Something I am learning. That I have beat the odd. I have to be that person. He wanted me to be. Now I am learning to be me. With my writing. It is a life challenge. But I don't want it to take it from me. Without that, I am not true to myself. What people judge me. Because they doubt me. So I doubt myself. So I like to sit alone. So I can think for myself. Learning to be me again. Before drama took always. Make me a victim. Use my Survivor skills to find myself. Hopefully, every day I one step closer. But she affair of letting herself down. Or is she failing herself again? She doesn't know she can trust herself. This is the thing she asks herself. Only time will show me. I have to push through it. Putting me first. Before I lost myself. Just have to push everyone's side. Follow my path. Hope that I won't let myself down again. I don't want to doubt myself. I living up to the universe. I will find my destination. As long I can sunsets.
©cateye1971
C