It's been said what doesn't kill you,
only makes you stronger.
I say it makes you a survivor,
when what doesn't kill you takes even longer.
Though, there are certain times,
we become weaker in that surviving.
Starting off in the beginning,
standing and simply thriving.
Then, Being worn down,
like a carbon grafite pencil.
Being used for another's purpose,
like a thoughtless utensil.
Writing on the paper of test,
that speaks perfusely of much time.
Our pencil shows little rest,
Boaring hardships against each line.
A beautiful change already took place,
Though, many people can't see.
I knew I couldn't bare it to slip away,
But, it's evasion has settled into my history.
Bad things happened,
Things that broke my soul.
Looking at where I was,
I couldn't find where to go.
People speak of being changed,
It's true I remember so well.
But, No one speaks of losing your way after that,
Or, how to find your way back after you fell.
God is the only one that can apply,
a better version of you.
With a joy that is absolute delight,
He gives a spirit that's anew.
But, what now when I've seen His proof,
His Holy power, and gracious glory?
I know this world isn't where I belong,
I'm a sentence in His story.
How do I find my way back,
To where I was unselfishly before?
Sorrow now fills most of my days,
Losing focus directed only on the Lord.
He used to be all I could think of,
All I could talk about and sing to.
Then, my selfish prayers kicked in,
Though I love Him, sorrow filled me through and through.
©trazz79
T