My life has been a waste
That I can not deny
Why I'm still here
I'm not sure why
I spent the first 18
Barely getting by
I'm not sure how
But somehow I survive
I had no friends
I refused to do any assignment
I spent my school years
In self confinement
The following decade
I was a work-oholic
I could always be counted on
No matter how sick.
By the time I was 30
I met my ex-wife
I thought she'd be with me
For the rest of my life
For more than a decade
She treated me bad
The only good thing
Was becoming a dad
I married a narcissist
Toxic and cruel
I cried enough tears
To fill an Olympic pool
Now I'm in my 40's
With nothing to look back on
If it wasn't for my kids
From this life I would run
But I can stop breathing
I must continue to exist
My kids depend on me
So I must persist
Here I'll stay
Maybe another 40 years
Growing old alone
Because of emotional fears
I'm terrified to open up
That I'll be torn apart
There's not much left
Of my devastated heart
I'm weak on the inside
Dying everyday
Most days I seem fine
Truth is I'm not okay
I'm hurting
Down deep in my soul
I just want to roll up into a ball
And hide deep in a dark hole
©markee_poo
M