First off, this is not a poem and I apologize for that so keep scrolling if your not interested in reading.
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A lot is going on right now..and I can definitely say that I've reached the max of writers block due to my thoughts all rambled and I can't Seem to put then together or make words with them.
I started going to therapy (Anxiety) at the beginning of this year and only went three times because I kept skipping or forgetting my appointments, I didn't bother telling my parents that I had a appointment because I didn't want to go so I didn't care.
I absolutely hate pills..I don't know why I just don't like the thought of pills changing who I am, so I told them that I would do therapy.. but no pills (not that I had a choice to not go, I found out that my mother was forcing me into it)
Lately the anxiety as become so strong and its tearing me apart, I have a acting thing for school tomorrow and just the thought makes me ich in my skin and I start hyperventilating.
My mother is allowing me to skip school tomorrow so I don't have to do it.
The year is almost up and this is the last presentation.
I've agreed to go to therapy all summer and work my butt off so I can get better, as hard as it'll be I'll also take pills as subscribed
I'm tired of this feeling, I'm tired of having panic attacks in front of everyone and being a even bigger burden on my family and hard as it is for them already.
I want to be a teacher when I grow up, I've wanted that since I was four years old and I'll be darned if I let this horrible demon mess that up.. I used to really doubt therapy working, and honestly I still do but it's the only option for me at this point.
I'm 13 years old...I've been dealing with this my whole life and I'm sick of pushing down my feelings and hating myself for every little F-Ing thing, I'm not gonna throw my life away because I'm afraid of opening up and handling multiple things at once.
Thank you for letting me vent here, honestly I'm So happy I've found this app (you all are so nice) But I'm taking a break until at least this summer starts so I can write the best poems of my progress...it'll be hard and I'm sure I'll still fall once or twice, but I'm doing this!
Thank you, and goodbye
©kit-kat
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