I delved deep into the Darkness
And in the Darkness found
My own personal sadistic Satan
That sick and evil Demon hound.
I challenged that Evil Bastard
Buried deep inside my soul
For it was my love for this life
That the Evil Bastard stole.
I tried to wrestle from Him
All the goodness that I had lost
For if I didn't wrest it from Him
There would be a tragic cost.
And so I cried out in my anger
My sickness and my shame
Because I knew that I was losing
In that Evil Bastard's game.
That Evil Bastard took my soul
And on it He began to feast
Then He looked at me and laughed
As I became the Beast.
As I descended further into Hell
And began to lose myself
All the more that I began to wish
That I could be somebody else.
Somebody who doesn't have to live
With a Demon inside his head
Somebody who actually loves himself
Who doesn't want to end up dead.
And so I cried out in my anger
My sickness and my shame
Because I knew that I was losing
In that Evil Bastard's game.
I knew that if I hated myself
There could be no greater cost
And that I would likely never recover
All those parts of me I had lost.
For I have lost so much of me
There's so much Darkness now inside
That when I look at all I've done
I just wish that I had died.
Now I live this Unholy life
Filled with emptiness and pain
And all that I can think of is
That I never chose to be insane.
And so I cried out in my anger
My sickness and my shame
Because I knew that I was losing
In that Evil Bastard's game.
There was once a time in my life
When I believed in the Savior Son
When I could put the blame on Satan
For all the things that I had done.
But when it comes to that Evil
Growing inside me like some scum
I really can't blame Satan
For the Evil Bastard I've become.
©ronvdm777
Sept 2019
©ronvdm777
R