I hate starting with the word sorry
It does not flow with any other word
It does not hold enough guilt or shame
I will do my best to try and explain
I took something from you
Something that wasnt mine to take
For that I feel guilt
I shattered the safety wall of your home
For that, I am filled with shame
My actions caused you tears, pain and suffering
I caused worry for your family,
Took your kindness for granted
Along with your dignity
You suffered alone and in silence
The next day you scrubbed your body away
Rinse, wash, cry, repeat
Rinse, wash, cry, repeat
Three hours in a steaming hot bath
Rinse, wash, cry, repeat
Your skin was raw and peeling
The tub was bloody
But you kept going
Rinse, wash, cry repeat
The doctors office never felt so cold
As you sat there humiliated
You didn't know whether or not I used a condom
The doctor was asking questions
The answers rolled in your head
Was it consenting?
No.
Who did it?
Do you want to press charges?
The answers would not come to your tongue
You could have made me pay
But you kept silent
You gave me another kindness
That I again, I did not deserve
I saw nothing wrong with my actions
Which caused you further harm
In what I thought was strength
I became weak
I'm sorry for the pain
I wish I could take it away
You dont deserve to feel shame
Or disgust
As it should be i to face alone
You did nothing wrong
I will now take over from here
I will take the weight from you
As I should be the one to hold it alone
I wish I could've seen it then
For that I will always strive to be better
I will raise my son to respect
Theres nothing I can do to change it
But I promise
I will be better to the next
©kayjay
P