The Blue Light Debt.

I know I broke your heart once,

and I’ve spent every day since then paying interest on that debt.

I did the work to earn your grace,

but now you use that grace as a cage.

Every time I draw a line in the sand,

you kick the dust until the border vanishes.

You treat my boundaries like obstacles to be cleared

rather than the skin I need to keep me whole.

I am tired of bending until I hear the snap.

We still burn the sheets when we’re together—

A fever that almost makes me forget,

That fever is the only thing that still

feels like home.

But the moment I leave for work, the house goes cold.

While I’m out earning a future,

you’re chasing ghosts in the blue light of a browser window.

You’re paying for the pixels of girls who don't know your name,

while I’m standing right here, offering you the horizon.

It’s a slow suicide of the soul,

delaying an ending that’s already written in your search history.

I hate the person I’m becoming—

a warden, a ghost, a woman checking for shadows.

You can deny it until the screen goes black,

but my grief is the only thing in this room that’s 100% real.