When we first got together you made me make you a promise.... You made me promise to not hurt you, because you wouldn't be able to go through that again... I made that promise and loved you with all my heart. I would do anything for you if it meant that you would be happy, be ok and secure, and for you to know that you had me beside you and I would walk with you through the hardest of times, and that we would be ok and get through anything together...😔 But some how it all went wrong... You lost your love for me and hatred grew. Never to see you, never to hold you close, never to feel your love ever again... what a great feeling that was!💓 because when we were together everything was amazing and I had purpose and wanted us to grow and move forward, and do something with our lives together, and build something with you!... but then you leave, and it's like all that goes away... Your love faded, you would ignore me, not talk, leave me guessing, and wondering. All I wanted was to be able to spend time with you and us enjoy each other's company... But you would not be there when I ever needed you, this whole thing was one sided and it hurts.. it hurts since I really did everything I could for you and truly cared for you. Fuck how I cared for you!... but you said you would call, you never did, you said you would come over, something always came up and you didn't or couldn't come, you were so secretive about anything you did and would feel as if you were being attacked if I even asked what you were doing, and you couldn't tell me, saying things like "what does it matter, or I don't have to explain myself". well when you say you will talk or see your "boyfriend" soon or in a few minutes and then fall of the earth never to be heard from not even a word, heads up, or nothing. yeah I am going to ask what happened or what was up and be concerned not knowing if you were alright or just really not knowing anything... you prioritized other things above us that you thought were more important than us, you would ignore my texts, and when you did respond after I had poured my heart out to you, you would not even acknowledge my pain or anything for that matter that I had to say. You didn't care about what was said you just focused on anything remotely negative, but none of the positive. I would have just quick replies from you, only a few words, that would be so cold, quick, and short, with no care at all. I'm hurt, I feel used, I feel betrayed, lied to, secrets behind the walls, hatred toward me, sadness from me... BECAUSE I opened my heart to you. You know I was broken before as well to the point I did not be with a single person not even once for 3 years after my heart was broken last... And I let you in only for my heart and soul to be broken and crushed again. my mind is racing everything is blurry it's hard to even put feelings into words.... there really is not one way to describe how I feel.... Pain, Hurt, used, lies, betrayal, hatred, regret, sadness, depressed, mislead, garbage, stomped on, set up, abused, lost, confused.... So much more, and so much left unsaid, so many questions that will never be answered, like why, what happened, couldn't you have just said something? I asked so many times what was wrong, how are you, is everything ok, do you wanna talk, I will just sit and listen, lend you and ear to release whatever was weighing on your mind. But every time I was met with silence... I feel like shit for trying so hard and putting myself out there, and all my effort wasted for nothing, for someone who never really cared... Deep dark despair. I may not recover and can't help but say this truly ain't fair... I'm dead inside and all that remains now is a hollow shell. I will never be the same. Fuck it....
©db4l1987
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