I've always known that he existed
Maybe not in a physical form but at least in the hearts of his people.
He is that one being that is always constant
Even when our worlds are crumbling down
I guess at some point I just felt disconnected
Couldn't understand why they said he meant everything to us
Couldn't comprehend why he had so many rules but still wanted for eternal life
They said his name is Love
So I wondered why he would punish people so badly if they sinned
Perhaps truly he was just some made-up fantasy character
Years passed and I simply became a church-goer
The person that does so much running around during the service
That she no longer pays attention to the Sunday sermons
But soon after I realized that I had only being deceiving myself
God is not a man that I could fool, he is GOD
He was just waiting for me to come to the realization that he loved all of me even my terrible imperfections
Maybe he doesn't want me to believe in him the total 100%
So that he can work with me as I gradually learn more about who he is
And teach me to put all of my trust in him as fleeting as it may seem
Now when the pressures of the storm of this world seem to overwhelm me
And nothing I do seems to take the burden off me
I try to put all of my focus on him because he is the eye of that storm, the beautiful calm I can freely enjoy.
©desewa
D