I want to be loved, unconditionally. The way that I loved you. The way that I look passed all the flaws because they are temporary, and if they are forever, then they are you who I already love.
Why is it so easy to be so small in a world so big. What haven't you seen. Why must I be your lesson? Don't you know it hurts? Yet, I put myself here.
I can't stand how I act so blind. I knew walking in that you could never really love me. I knew it was temporary, you didn't want to admit it, even when I did. I looked passed it for the sake of you, and the selfishness of me. Trying to force something to work, straining myself at your ease of letting it go.
Now who's crying? The one who tried to put you back together. A sacrifice that has me back to slowly falling apart. Alone. What I hate most.
Surrounded by people and nobody to latch onto. When the time comes, everyone has their partner. All I have is me. I am enough, I know this. But it means so much more to love someone.
I love myself enough to know what's best for me. Extending, helping, caring, & loving. There is no other way.
Time moves so slow in these days. Unlike the moments with you. I knew to cherish each one. Every slow graze across your body at my fingertips. Tracing the lines of your tattoo. All a flash.
I was here not too long ago. Piecing life together trying to figure out what it means and why I'm here...starting over. Making sense out of the senseless things you chose to do.
Even though I already knew....
I am blind to be emotional. I choose not to be strong when I am alone, almost as if I have no choice. I can't help it. Broken. When anyone is near I will hold my chin up and smile for them. But for right now, I'm not even here. A faded version of myself. Almost a ghost. Fighting to really be seen.
©michelle92
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