The Good Old Days (when were they?)
They say you don't know the good days
Until they have gone
But they don't tell you that the good days
Don't last all too long.
And you think that some good days
Will come into your life
But you've been waiting for years now
And all you've known is strife
So when were my good days?
When was my life good?
You'd think that I'd remember...
Well, you really think I should.
But let us take a journey
Into my secret past
To find that maybe my good days
Have not yet come to pass
I know it wasn't infancy
I was neglected and abused
By the one that I called "mama"
And the men that she amused.
I was taken from my father
The one who actually cared
And now we really can't recall
Many moments that we've shared.
So let us flash it forward
And enter teenage years.
Well, that wasn't happy either
Because I was consumed by many fears
I was afraid of failing.
I was afraid of Rick
I was afraid of never knowing
What always made me sick
I spent most time with doctors
Put on experimental drugs
All while losing my mother
Who refused to give me hugs.
Also found myself a blade
And the rest is written in scars.
Started to fantasize
About walking in front of cars...
So let's skip to adulthood.
I was ready to explore.
And of all the things I wanted from life,
There was nothing I wanted more
I wanted to be loved again
Someone to understand
But he hurt me and he broke me
Until I was afraid to take a stand.
And so my friends had left me
And I couldn't see my dad
Because Steven wanted me to himself
So he became everything I had.
For two years he abused me
Made me feel like I was gross.
I was his perfect victim.
He was the cruelest host.
And then, on my birthday
He cheated with a friend.
And he said that it was my fault...
And he wanted it to end.
So now, jump to evictions.
I'm afraid that I've lost track.
I was the perfect tenant.
But character means jack.
And so I wandered aimlessly
Just trying to find a home
Shacking up with desperate men
So I wouldn't feel alone.
I've been threatened and assaulted
But the people who I loved.
I've been lied to and revolted
By what my life's become.
So then I moved back in with dad
And I wasted all my time.
Time should be spent with family
But I didn't spend it with mine.
And so when grandma passed away
I felt this heavy guilt
And I should have spent more time with dad,
But the bond began to wilt.
And now he's living with his wife
And I worry every day.
I really don't have much on hand
To take that stress away.
It used to be my animals,
But now they are so few.
I used to have a mini farm,
And I don't know what to do.
Skip to today, I'm sitting here.
Good days have yet to come.
I feel each day I'm struggling
To undo what I have done.
Don't have much left and I'll admit
I'm running out of steam.
I used to imagine wonderful things...
But I've forgotten how to dream.
©hollywood.
H