We were young and wanted a baby
When we found that we were with child
We thanked god for the opportunity
And believed he looked down and smiled.
Then we were told after three months
That she would likely not live a day
But we believed in the one true god
So we chose to have her anyway.
Six months of knowing that she might die
Six months of kneeling in prayer
Six months of believing in god’s love
Six months of thinking he’d care.
When she was born two months early
We prayed that she would live
We were both so young and stupid
We had nothing but faith to give.
When they finally brought her to us
Our daughter was already dead
That sweet little innocent baby
Was born with a hole in her head.
It was hard to keep from falling
Onto the cold hospital floor
I felt like something inside me
Shut god out and closed the door.
How do I express the loss of one’s child
The pain that never seems to go away
I just could not understand the loss
While my family just told us to pray.
My heart that day was broken
In a way that a god couldn’t heal
And now I’ve built so many walls
Because I no longer want to feel.
I no longer believe in a loving god
Or blame him for Elizabeth’s death
But I hope your god never takes your baby
Before you even feel her breath.
©ronvdm777
Dec 2019
©ronvdm777
R