I'm back again
To my favorite place
Where I tried
But in vain
Watching as cars speed down the road
Looking down from the fly over
Today everything must be over
For I'm about to do what I did
This time round success is a must
This time it's different
I'm not in tears
I'm not sad
But still I'm not happy
I never planned for this
So everything I'm about to do
It's something that suddenly came
Into my mind
There's nothing to hold me back
There's nothing to make me stay
I'm planning to wash the road
With my dirty blood
Slash my arms and watch my blood drip
In a slow motion
Drip drop
Life is a series of pain
A pain I can't explain
A pain that kills me everyday
A pain that I only feel
A pain no one understands
A pain no one sees
So today I want to end this series
Once and for all
I want my self free
Free from this torture
Free from the pain
Free from everyone
Free from everything
Today is the day I let go
Today I finally give it up
Still at the fly over
Walking down slowly
No one seems to notice
My arm is bleeding
It's Nairobi after all
No one cares
Everyone is just busy minding their business
I'm getting weak
I'm feeling dizzy
I can't see clearly
Now tears start rolling
And I sit on the stairs
And no one is staring
Still no one notices
Blood keeps oozing out
I'm feeling numb
Finally letting the pain out
Suddenly everything is in slow motion
It's like my world is slowing
My world is coming to an end
Finally I'm noticed
I can hear the siren of an ambulance
From a distance
My eyes slowly shut
And death is staring at me
He's looking at me smiling
That weird smile
It's as if he's achieved something
Something so great
He drags me to the abyss
That's when I realize
I'm in a different world
"Here's where you belong"
He shouts at me
I'm confused
What's happening to me
I'm being burned
It's so painful
more pain than the pain I once felt
I wanted to end the pain
Not to feel a much worse pain
I thought there's happiness on the other side
Sadly I thought wrong
This was something I'd never escape
This is a forever pain
How I wish I knew
I wish I'd turn back the hards of time
I wish I'd get just one more chance
To erase that fateful moment
I gave in to the demons
And my life I ended
Suddenly something pushes me
As I turn in anger
I realise I was day dreaming
Still at the fly over
The same spot
Nothing changed
I'm still alive
And not bleeding
So I'm stuck
With this pain
Hoping something kills me
Wishing a car would hit me
I want my life to end
In a way that it won't be my fault
Atleast I wouldn't have ended my life
That way I'll find happiness on the other side.
©mara_pain
Life is a series of pain
©mara_pain
M