The sea somehow comforts me the way you used to do. Those waves that make music in my ears were once your voice telling me everything will be okay. Walking on the sand that leaves only my footprints reminds me of the days when you were with me, collecting seashells near the shore. The wind is cold out here, but nothing beats your feelings when you were last with me. My dear, Kai, how I miss when you were you.
" Raya! " I came back to my senses because my sister called. " It's time for lunch! And duh, super init kaya. My skin will burn, so tara na!" Yes, it's hot; it's summer. " Alright, I'm coming!"
I looked once again at the shore and left a bittersweet smile. " I miss you more than ever, Kai. "
" You should forget him. " My 12-year-old sister spoke. " He is not who he is anymore, Raya."
I looked down because I know, but deep inside me, there is hope that Kai will be him again.
" Enough, Sari. I know; you don't have to remind me." She sighed. " The old him is dead; stop reviving him; you will only hurt yourself for assuming." I looked up at the sky because my tears will fall if I didn't. When we arrived home, I saw our mama waiting for us near the door and waving.
" Mama, I'm hungry!" Sari shouted. " Let's eat; Raya's already here." She gently kissed my forehead. " Hey, Mom. " She smiled as if she knows what I'm going through, even though I didn't say anything.
After lunch, I went directly to my room and went through my small balcony. The trees were dancing because of the wind. My tears could no longer hold themselves. I cried. Kai, how are you?
It's been three years since you were gone. Do you even think of me now? All those questions were left unanswered.
For three years, I've been searching for him. I always go to his house, but the neighbor said that they moved. I asked where, but neither do they know. My mom can't contact Kai's mother anymore. I miss our bonding. I miss how we eat ice cream on a sunny day. I miss how we ride our bicycles. I miss how Kai always takes care of me. Where is that Kai? Where is my Kai?
I wipe my tears as I heard my door open. It was my mom. " Hey, honey. Cup of juice?" I smiled.
" Mama, will I be alone forever?" My mom took my hands and said, " Baby girl, no. "
" Then why did Kai leave? " It's like my heart pierced. " It was his choice. "
" His choice? Am I nothing to him? We grew up together, Mom. We shared memories; we built a relationship no one else could do for him! I am me because of him, Mama! " My mom hugged me tight. " Raya, Kai is not yours to keep. Someday, he will show his face to you again and confess everything why he did what he did, but for now, help yourself. " I couldn't help but cry and cry and cry.
Will that someday come???
S