As I look around at the world I know,
All I see is darkness, thicker than snow
Suffocating, drowning, strangling, every time I rise up
They brutally cut me down again
At night all I want to do is fall asleep and see my dreams, to see happiness once again
But I never can. Why is this? I’ve asked myself this many a time on these long, cold nights
Why can I never fall asleep and see the happiness?
Because the overwhelming weight of work that has been placed on my shoulders weighs me down
I fall into the pit that is the feeling that I’ll never be enough, and it weighs me down
And this weight makes me want to go to sleep once more and never wake up again
To never see the worries, the stress, the hardships, the hell of life ever again
During the days at school or at work, when I try to retreat into the safety of my memories
I’ve come to realise that the demons in my mind are no better than the hell that lies before me
I try everything to find that light, I try to reach that light at the end of the tunnel
But instead of finding a way out, I just find another obstacle, another hurdle
Another of the worlds attempts to smash me back down to square one
And so, when it all becomes too much, I go back to the ledge
The life I live is taking me closer to the edge
I teeter on the cliff, about to fall into the abyss
I have to keep dodging the worlds efforts to pull me down into oblivion
The black hands grabbing at me, ripping at my skin and turning me into nothing
Sometimes I feel as if I’ve died and become nothing more than a ghost,
Nothing more than a spectator in my own life
And as I pick up the book of life, I find that the pages are falling out
I try to reach out to grab those pages, but they continue to flutter away
But as I am nothing more than a ghost, my efforts mean nothing
The pages just slip through my fingers, every time
©uptherangs
U