They'll never know the person I've become inside.
The vague memory of their wishes for their daughter's life still gently pull at their minds like a toddler ever tugging at their mother's skirt for attention.
They'll never know the pain I've seen.
The vibrant girl that had a beautiful life ahead of her has been snuffed out. The pain that has been inflicted upon me, dimming my light with each laceration.
They'll never know how my self esteem was robbed.
I have to keep a smiling face for them so they're disappointment will only be directed towards my unsuccessful life and not my unsuccessful heart as well.
They'll never know I've been broken.
Because of the certain money they had bet on my ability to be a strong individual who would never let a man run my life or hurt me; I can't let them know I lost that bet for them.
They'll never know I'm weak.
The older sister they looked up to as the one to guide the way has become the joke and they've surpassed anything she's ever done.
They'll never know the truth.
That I can't find the little girl inside of me anymore. I disappointed her and I don't know if she'll ever come back after what I did to her heart... or at least not after what I let someone else do to her heart.
They'll never know that the pain of letting them all down is worse than the unspeakable things I've endured.
I'd rather bottle it all then break their hearts anymore....
S