I am so tired of trying to be me when you keep douth me. So I cover my face. So you won't see the real me because there will douth me. There won't see me as I see myself. That makes me douth myself. So, hard to get out of my comfort zone. Because the unknown scares me. It's like I am a curse. It is like I am a trap. It is like lying to myself because trying to take a step is tricky. Not believing in myself is problematic because it is what my heart wants. I wish I could step out and say this is me. See the look in their eyes. There to say she made it. With everything she went threw and said to me, I made it. Now I can be me without fear in my heart. Steel is trying to find the words. But people's reactions keep me for taken steps. When there look at me, they see my past. My past always put fear in my heart. I am searching for a break thew. But I always keep getting kicked down. I am trying to get where I need to be. I am tired of failure. I want to put myself first. There put fear in my heart. I don't wish to stock here. I want to open that door and say I made it. I look back on my life. You didn't break me. I am here because I broke free. Fear didn't stop me. I made it. Because I believe in myself. I let go and moved on. Never look back. If I take that step, the door opens—one foot in my past and one further. I want to close the door and open another because I want to close this chapter. To live my life without regard. I just wanted to be the person I was meant to be. I am not the same person. I am growing in spirt because my heart and soul were broking. Now I fix my motion and feeling. So I can write something beautiful. Without something, whisper in your ears and say to you. You are lying to yourself. You won't make it. You nothing without me. You will never be happy and not even with your smoke. You will hide behind your smile. You will be a trio with douth. You are a victim. But the love of writing. We set me free from motion. I can express myself with words and not with my voice. But from my heart. Because of the love of my life. I must break free from the past—too much pain and regard. I have to close the doors. To get to the right doors. I don't want to live life without regret. I want to live a life without fear. I don't want to live a life of fear. I will get my life back. I took back my control. I don't look back and see my past. I want to be free. To live my life and say this is me. This is who I am.
©cateye1971
C